Tuesday 5 October 2010

You know you are in Haiti when...

It is said that laughter is medicine for the soul. Sometimes when one does not understand the complex culture they are living in, laughter is all that is left and relishing in the absurdity of mundane things becomes a favorite pastime. Thus, comic relief is key in adjusting to new cultures. One of my dearest friends, Meredith, a lovely lady back in NC, started a tradition while we were in South East Africa together - compiling lists that begin with, 'you know you are in ___________ when(fill in blank with name of country). We had a great time with this in Mozambique- now its time to do one for Haiti.

Disclaimer: To all our Haitian peeps, you know who you are, please do respond back with more, this is just to get the juices flowing, shout out to you who have contributed a bit already...

You know you are in Haiti WHEN...

1. You find yourself using various hand gestures and feel like Malcolm X everytime you gesture something like 'RESPECT'.

2. When everything you try to do takes 5 times longer than it normally does anywhere else you've been in the whole world.

3. You use your left blinker in your vehicle as you make a left turn, not realizing that you almost cream 10 guys on motorbikes - because, in Haiti, using your blinker actually seems to mean 'pass me now'.

4. It ceases to be a random occurence when you see, on separate occasions, a grown Haitian man, and a young boy, walking along the road swinging a dead cat by a string attached to a single paw.

5. Love songs by our favorite Candadian ballad factory, Celine Dion, are the most widely used mobile phone ring tones - and the loudest.

6. When you live so far away from any latrine that you have to urinate outside your tent.

7. Ketchup and Mayo are found in your spaghetti pasta noodles.

8. An entire island of trash, with what looks like a city of scrap metal, banana peels and Viola phone cards perched on top, floats by your front door everytime it rains.

9. The most common men's footwear is bright-pink crocs.

10. You wake up to mice nibbling on your toes as if they were Ritz crackers.

11. When you see numerous and varied retro t-shirts depicting platform slogans of American ex-presidential candidates who did not even make it past the primaries... sorry about that, Ross Perot.

12. Making a pot of coffee takes 45 minutes.

13. You go to the bathroom and check to see if the toliet can actually flush before using it, and waddles away with bug bites on your unmentionables.

14. You are referred to as 'Blan, Blan' more than you're actual name.

15. It is normal to see a cow's leg sticking out of a tap-tap (Haitian taxi), as it thumps, again and again, like some sort of strange rubber extremity, into oncoming traffic.

16. You notice that the most common pet is a crab on a string.

17. The temperature drops to 86F, and you catch a cold because, after all, its freezing!
18. Donkeys are a common mode of transporting blue plastic tarp for shelters up the mountain.

19. Your internet stinks.

20. You have to check the shower before using it for fear of stepping on a giant tarantula.

2 comments:

Kristi Van Der Merwe said...

HA! I love this guys! And I definitely know what it is like to be searching for a tarantula the whole time you are in the shower!!! Missing and praying for you both!

BlindFeet said...

I'm thinking I was glad I was in Titianyan!!!!
Love the adventure!
Lori

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